I am a paradox. Why do I try to be perfect? I don't even like perfect people! They suck. Of this I am sure (and I am sure of very few things). In fact, I don't even want everyone to like ME. Yet, I'm very...nice. Or I have good manners. Or something. Is it because I am American? Sometimes I wish I did not know French because I wouldn't understand the conversations next to me. And let me tell you, all women do here is talk about other women. Especially when they think you don't understand them.
As for the guy, either he understands me completely and we are on the same page or I am 100% wrong about him. No in-between on this one.
Relationships: I'm talking about with guys, lovers. Well that's my intention.
I want someone to care about me. Yet I don't think anyone really ever could; and its probably true because my personality is such that I attack or disengage before someone even has the chance.
AND at the same time I don't want someone to care about me because I want to care about myself and have that be enough. I don't want to need anybody. That way I can never blame them for dissappointing me. Or something.
I'm not quite sure where that leaves me.
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Hmmmmm......
ReplyDeleteLots to think about here.
A. You are likable.
B. You are very easy to care for. I care for you.
C. The women from paragraph one are the way they are because they're insecure. Just be glad you're not them....think of how miserable they must truly be.
D. I miss you.
P.S. I hope today is less dark than yesterday. Love you!
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